260 – It’s Ok To Be Quiet

Have you ever been told “you’re not listening to me”
 
Have you ever felt someone you are talking to is not listening to you?
 
I notice this more and more every day in society, so much so that I wonder if anyone is listening.
 
Perhaps social media is to blame…
 
Maybe it’s lackluster parenting skills…
 
None the less, not listening to other people is one of the biggest failures in communication that we experience in modern times.
 
I never thought much about this until I joined Toastmasters many years ago. 
 
While a member is giving a speech, others in the meeting are specifically assigned to listen to them speak and count the bridge words, audible crutches, and so on. 
 
For me, this became a very powerful lesson.
 
When we are interrupted by someone we are speaking with, over time it can become annoying, more importantly, it can become very distracting.
 
I meet people often who I can barely speak with because I am left feeling I cannot get a word in edgewise.
 
When lines of communication are shut down, not much good comes from it. 
 
In real estate, it can mean mistakes, misunderstandings, miscalculations, and sometimes it can even kill a potential deal.
 
I have said for many years that the best deals come from solving problems. 
 
When we have a tough time paying attention or listening, we will overlook problems altogether and find ourselves having a tough time raising money or putting deals together.
 
How do we fix this?  First, join Toastmasters, it’s under $100 a year to join and worth every penny. 
 
Second, practice listening intently, and practice asking questions to fully understand the situation being explained to you.
 
When talking to a buyer or seller, take time to learn why they are buying or selling, you might be surprised to know that most people have several reasons for buying or selling, knowing these reasons will help you put together great deals.
 
When the other party is talking, become laser-focused on understanding the actual words they are saying, and if you are unclear on what they mean, ask questions for clarity. 
 
No matter what, don’t try to guess what they mean, ask!
 
Sometimes I will ask the other party if it’s ok if I take notes, especially if I am having trouble understanding them.  I have yet to have anyone say no, perhaps because I explain to them that I want to be sure I fully understand their situation fully and don’t want to forget anything they are saying.
 
Becoming a better listener can completely change your business for the better while bringing you more revenue than you can imagine because people will flock to you when they feel you have something to offer them.

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