“People’s feelings about how they are doing financially are highly uncorrelated with their actual financial status.”
— Ramit Sethi
Ramit Sethi (@ramit), author of the New York Times bestseller I Will Teach You to Be Rich, has helped tens of millions of people live a rich life with their money, careers, businesses, and psychology. He hosts more than a million readers on his site iwillteachyoutoberich.com, newsletter, and social media. His new podcast, I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi, reveals real stories about love and money from behind closed doors. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to fine podcasts.
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What was your favorite quote or lesson from this episode? Please let me know in the comments.
SCROLL BELOW FOR LINKS AND SHOW NOTES…
Want to hear Ramit’s last appearance on this show? Lend an ear to our conversation in which we discussed savvy negotiation, why not all good financial decisions are created equal, sensible expenditures that appear frivolous at first glance, money dials, game-changing conveniences, challenging accepted “truths” about money, the pros and cons of the prenuptial agreement, mini-retirements, and much more.
SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE
- Connect with Ramit Sethi:
- I Will Teach You To Be Rich by Ramit Sethi (Podcast)
- I Will Teach You to Be Rich, Second Edition: No Guilt. No Excuses. No B.S. Just a 6-Week Program That Works. by Ramit Sethi | Amazon
- Ramit Sethi — Automating Finances, Negotiating Prenups, Disagreeing with Tim, and More | The Tim Ferriss Show #371
- Ramit Sethi — How Creatives Should Negotiate | The Tim Ferriss Show #166
- Ramit Sethi — Persuasion and Turning a Blog Into a Multi-Million-Dollar Business | The Tim Ferriss Show #33 & #34
- I Tried Out Wash and Fold Laundry Service (And Whether I’ll Ever Do It Again) | A Slob Comes Clean
- The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss | Amazon
- 11 Expert Tips to Stop Being a People Pleaser (with Science) | Science of People
- Stephen King Accepts the 2003 Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters | National Book Foundation
- Rollin’ | Limp Bizkit
- How to Talk to Your Partner About Money (at Any Stage) by Ramit Sethi | IWT
- 5 Mistakes to Avoid When Making a Prenup Agreement | World Wedding Guide
- Gilt Groupe
- Dave Elitch — How to Get Out of Your Own Way | The Tim Ferriss Show #348
- Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler | Amazon
- Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler | Amazon
- A Research-Based Approach to Relationships | The Gottman Institute
- Most memorable money conversations with couples in debt that Ramit has had since our last episode together. [06:06]
- A recent purchase over which I agonized to a degree that seems ludicrous in hindsight. [08:38]
- How do you think about money? Probably not as closely as the guy Ramit knows who has $8 million in net worth but goes out of his way to save $8 on groceries because he hates “the idea of overpaying.” [09:56]
- Why did it take so long for Ramit to start a podcast, and in what ways can a listener expect his show to differ vastly from this one? [12:03]
- Ramit justifies his fascination for toying with trolls, and I share a pro tip for anyone who’s ever being interviewed by a journalist (or podcaster). [14:12]
- In the last 30 days, can you think of a specific situation where you were not on the same page financially with your partner? [16:08]
- What is your idea of a rich life? This is a question with wildly varied answers depending on who you ask, but one truth seems consistent: People’s feelings about how they are doing financially are highly uncorrelated with their actual financial status. [17:18]
- Why Americans’ tendency to compare themselves to their neighbors is completely irrational. [20:16]
- What does Ramit’s rich life look like? [22:16]
- Ramit’s money rules. [23:17]
- What the recent decision to have fresh flowers delivered to my house every week does for my rich life. [24:36]
- Why asking “What is your rich life?” can be such a magical, transformational question — especially when a partner is present. [25:40]
- If you’re a bit of an overspender, have you ever said “No” to your partner or family? [27:38]
- If you were not on the same page financially with your partner at some point in the last 30 days, on a scale of 1 to 10, how big of an issue is it? [28:32]
- A bucket list/rich life goals vision exercise Ramit did with his wife Cassandra, inspired by Stephen King’s 2003 National Book Club Speech. [30:06]
- How Ramit and Cassandra have agreed to financially contribute, together, to their eight-year anniversary goal, and how it feels to watch the fund make progress. [34:55]
- Ramit and Cassandra meet once a month to discuss finances. What does the format look like? [38:21]
- Ramit’s true, but most embarrassing backlog rich life goal. [41:13]
- How to make conversations about money positive experiences rather than negative and depressing. [43:50]
- The typical approach to talking about finances when one half of a couple is an overspender (and/or people pleaser who has trouble establishing boundaries), and what Ramit suggests as a better, more effective alternative. [44:40]
- What needs to happen for a couple to succeed in solving whatever financial problems they have (and avoid passing along toxic money behavior to their offspring). [49:26]
- Why it’s not enough just to want to change your relationship with money, and how psychology and tools can easily be used to affect the desired change — with far less effort than fighting with your spouse about money for the rest of your miserable lives. [52:12]
- An example of a time Ramit saw a 9/10 severity problem with a couple and their money solved simply. [54:38]
- Thoughts and positive listener feedback about prenups since our last conversation. [57:55]
- The $100 challenge. [1:00:12]
- What would result from Ramit’s own $100 (or $1,000 or $5,000) challenge? [1:04:02]
- What would the result of my own challenge look like? [1:07:17]
- Gauging the most important lessons that can be learned from the $100 (or more) challenge, and rejecting the coded-for-fear life of frugality that many of us accept as the default. [1:08:32]
- How Ramit turned a couple’s conversation around a $100+ honeymoon challenge from a downward spiral into an upward one. [1:11:39]
- Thoughts on how we can learn to spend our money in meaningful ways on enjoying and enhancing a rich life rather than endlessly stockpiling it for some unknown purpose in an unforeseeable future. [1:13:06]
- Fascinating patterns around the saving and spending of money that Ramit has noticed in his conversations with couples. [1:20:03]
- Recommendations for further developing the skill of financial comfort and reaffirming the importance of a relationship. [1:24:02]
- Exercising generosity as a way of becoming more like the people we want to be and reinforcing the positive potential of the money we make. [1:25:07]
- How Billy Joel impressed the power of generosity and graciousness upon a teenage busboy named Tim. [1:27:23]
- Parting thoughts. [1:29:42]